I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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