I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
