he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
