wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
