You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
