i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
