I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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