i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
