I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
