every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Randomize
