I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
