She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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