we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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