and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
