Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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