Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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