Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
