I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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