is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
