Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize