Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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