I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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