Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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