is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize