The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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