I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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