I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
