the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
