I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You left your underwear on the fireplace
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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