Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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