the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
