those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
