I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
