I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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