worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
