so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
