Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
