lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
