how can u be prego again
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
