I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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