I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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