i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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