Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can tuck mytits in my pants
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
