I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
