I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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