if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dignity is for republicans.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
