Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
are you so shy because you have an std?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
