from now on my penis is your penis
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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