If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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