i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you will always have a special place in my vag
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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