I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
jump out the window naked night went bad
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize