hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
