I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
