I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You know, be my cock's hype man.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
