just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
