i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
