Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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