brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Holy shit dude........stairs
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
