Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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